“F” you and “F” me too

*taken as part of the 10-day “you” challenge. Day three’s theme is “fears”

The first thing that comes to my mind when the word “fear” is mentioned is the Scarecrow. For those not too familiar with the fellow , he’s a tall lanky guy who terrorizes innocent people clad in a scarecrow’s outfit. Not all too bad, except for the fact that he’s also got this mix of toxins (not-so-obviously called Fear Gas) that causes his victims to hallucinate and believe their greatest phobias have come to life.

What would happen had I been hit with a generous dose of fear gas? What horrors would I be imagining happening to me? And what catchphrase would the Scarecrow use as I slowly descended into primal terror?

“Morning little schoolboy, class is in session. No, wait. I’m a doctor, not a teacher. For crying out loud.”

1.) I’m deathly scared of losing my friends, family and loved ones. Resolving to be my own man and carve my own niche in life doesn’t mean it wouldn’t suck to lose those I hold dearly to me. It just means I’ll need to soldier on after that. But it’ll still suck, big-time.

2.) I’m deathly scared of being inadequate as a writer. There’s a fine line to tread between being informative and interminable; being a niche blogger and being a nice blogger trying to please everybody. I’m not entirely sure if I’m treading that line well or I’m falling over one side. I can just picture a large “zero likes” symbol floating above my head as I scream my lungs off and beg for divine intervention.

3.) I’m deathly scared of heights. And looking down from heights. I get paralysed like a deer in headlights, or Wile E. Coyote as he’s about to fall off a cliff for the nth time.

4.) I’m deathly scared of having close friend(s) betray me. Although I’ll probably get over it (when I’m reminded that the only perfect human being is, like, no one ever) I won’t lie and say it’ll take me a while to get around it. That’s like getting punched in the heart, repeatedly.

5.) I’m deathly scared of being left in the wake of my friend’s successes. Although I’d feel good for them, I’d be more than a little discouraged if my number wasn’t called and I would be forced to languish in mediocrity for an extended period of time. It’s not the most “noble” fear, but I’m being brutally honest.

6.) I’m deathly scared of photo-realistic mannequins. During nighttime. Just, because.

7.) I’m deathly scared of wakes. And having to stare at a familiar face, once so full of life, now in a casket, and not moving. I can picture the fear gas taking this one step further by allowing said dead-friend to get up and tell me “why so serious? come in, there’s room for two”

8.) I’m deathly scared of coming to the end of my life and having not fully lived. I picture the fear gas turning me into an old man and having a kid ask me “so, what have you done?” as I draw a complete blank. Frightening.

The thing with fear is it weakens our wills. But it doesn’t take it away.  It’s really up to us to move past them. It’ll hurt, a lot, sometimes. Funny thing I was taught though: whatever doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger.

You don’t need Batman to tell you that.


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